March pregnancy blog

I am now 34 weeks pregnant which means I only have potentially 6 weeks left (maybe less,maybe more!)

Up until this point I’ve been feeling like I still have loads of time left, and its suddenly dawning on me that by the end of next month, baby could be here!

I think because I’m due on the last day of April, it still feels like a lot of time. I still have that whole month but I need to remind myself baby could potentially come any time from April 9th (when I’ll be 37 weeks,

eeekk!) although I’m feeling very excited for their arrival I still feel not completely ready just yet, but I’m starting to wonder if I ever will, until they are actually here? I feel like we still have a lot to do but at the same time I also feel quite organised and ready, such a strange feeling and so hard to explain! I think maybe because it’s fear of the unexpected of when they are going to be born and how different life is going to be it makes you feel anxious and unprepared, but I’m sure as soon as baby is here I’ll realise all the worrying was for nothing and everything will fall slowly into place, (hopefully!)

My last day at work is 28th March, although I’m currently only working 2 days part time since having my daughter, I am looking forward to finishing and just having that extra time with Amelia, and getting all the last minute bits in place before baby’s arrival!

A lot of people say to me that I don’t look 34 weeks pregnant, I do feel like my bump is still quite small, especially in certain clothes, although when it was measured at my last midwife appointment it was measuring exactly where it should be for how far along I was.  I do feel I was the same with Amelia and we actually had to go for a growth scan as I was measuring small with her, then in the last few weeks it really popped out, and she actually weighed 8lbs 2oz when she was born which I feel for a first baby is a good weight.

I was full term, she came just 1 day after my due date, which I think is why I just expect things to happen similar  this time but I need to remember it can be a very different experience!

I am seeing my

midwife again this week so it will be interesting to see if I’m still measuring where we should

be.

We had a scan at 32 weeks, as at our 20 week scan the sonographer wasn’t sure if the placenta was covering my cervix so they advised to see us again at 32 weeks to check the position of it.

Thankfully it had moved so that was one less thing to worry about! And it’s always lovely to have those extra scans to check baby is doing well, all their measurements were where they should be and baby was weighing 4lbs!  Although they did confirm that baby was in breech position, they advised it wasn’t a major worry as still likely to turn at that stage.

I’ve been doing some exercises which help turn a breech baby just incase, currently on my birthing ball as I am writing this &; trying to sleep on my left side with my pregnancy pillow in between my legs (apparently this helps?!) but I do find myself waking up in the night in a totally different position.

I have actually been sleeping a lot better in the last trimester I think at this stage you just get used to being uncomfortable in bed and sleep through it! Which I’m glad about as it’s definitely good to get in all the sleep you can before the newborn sleepless nights!

To read Beckys other blog click here. 

The twins Early arrival

Time started to go real fast from 32 weeks. I was very uncomfortable, my bump felt enormous and at this point it was difficult just doing daily tasks.

I was seen by my midwife fortnightly due to carrying twins. At my appointment around 34 weeks , they found protein in my urine. I was then being monitored every couple days.

I was sent to my local hospital for repeat bloods as a routine appointment and I remember an ‘on call duty doctor telling me that I now had confirmed Preeclampsia and the safest option is to be admitted into hospital.

I didn’t still really know the risks of this condition ( I have spent my whole pregnancy, not reading into too much that might make my anxious mind worse). I was straight away put on a EFM machine to monitor both twins, which proved very difficult!

Several doctors and midwives spent time trying to track two separate heart beats to produce a cardiotocograph with no luck.

This then continued for the next couple of days. I remember being told to rest! Well.. I couldn’t, because all night I was being prodded about to get this important EFM machine to monitor the fetal hearts!

By the third day and some persistence, they managed to get the print out which showed one twin was in distress (they were unable to detect which one at this point).

My twin consultant sent me for an ultrasound scan and this showed that the placenta and cord was no longer working as efficiently. Later that afternoon, I was told I would be delivering our twins by c-section by the weekend.

I rang the husband to tell him this information, and within the hour, the consultant on duty decided that I’d be going in within 2 hours for an emergency c-section delivery.

I frantically called the husband back to tell him to get to the hospital now! The whole time, I felt cared for and I trusted the consultants who were in and out monitoring me.

Being my first pregnancy meant I had no expectations and didn’t know what to expect, I was relieved to hear the wait was over and our twins would arrive tonight. Everything happened so fast, my husband arrived and we were gowned up and into the theatre within the hour!

The theatre was very busy, and when I

entered, what I can only describe as a ‘disco’ loud music was on, bright dazzling lights, darkness and lots of socialising and laughter!

I had two midwives and two paediatricians, one for each baby, alongside an anethestist and surgeons.

Things progressed quickly and I was given an epidural and lifted on to the theatre bed. I do recall not being able to move my legs or feel them at all but I could feel the sensation of ‘cutting and ‘tugging’ as each baby was pulled out of me!

As many mothers will also say, it did absolutely ‘feel like a washing machine’ and at times made me jittery.

I remember my husband telling me what he could see over the curtains as I asked what that heavy tugging was!

Being my first pregnancy meant I had no expectations and didn’t know what to expect, I was relieved to hear the wait was over and our twins would arrive tonight. Everything happened so fast, my husband arrived and we were gowned up and into the theatre within the hour!

The theatre was very busy, and when I

entered, what I can only describe as a ‘disco’ loud music was on, bright dazzling lights, darkness and lots of socialising and laughter!

I had two midwives and two paediatricians, one for each baby, alongside an anethestist and surgeons.

Things progressed quickly and I was given an epidural and lifted on to the theatre bed. I do recall not being able to move my legs or feel them at all but I could feel the sensation of ‘cutting and ‘tugging’ as each baby was pulled out of me!

As many mothers will also say, it did absolutely ‘feel like a washing machine’ and at times made me jittery.

I remember my husband telling me what he could see over the curtains as I asked what that heavy tugging was!

We had lots of cheer from the amazing staff when Posie arrived into the world at 20:00pm and Artie arrived at 20:03pm, it was the most special moment I will remember forever!

We both had skin to skin with them once the paediatricians had done their checks! Artie entered the world needing some oxygen and shortly after meeting him, he was taken to NICU along with Daddy due to his breathing distress. Later that evening, Posie spent some time in NICU also.

My recovery was tougher than I expected. I struggled to get out of bed and walk the first two days (the catheter definitely didn’t help).

Posie was able to return to us in our hospital room the next day while Artie continued to need NICU support to maintain his blood sugar levels.

We spent over a week in hospital, we went and spent time in NICU daily with Artie while he was getting stronger ( they were 5 weeks premature and so he just wasn’t quite ready to be out of the womb just yet).

Artie had to have a feeding tube to ensure he was getting his full feeds as he wasn’t yet able to latch onto a bottle and as a result, his blood sugar levels were unstable (preemie babies have to work so hard to latch and it can tire them out quickly).

Artie also had Jaundice which required the blue light therapy, poor boy, he didn’t have the easiest of starts.

It was emotionally draining knowing Posie was with us but her poorly brother was still in NICU.

The week felt long, at this point, I’d been in hospital for 2 weeks and had enough of the four walls and the lack of air in our room ( we were very grateful for the side room).

Within a week, Artie was moved in with us with his feeding tube, we had the support of the transitional care team 24/7, who were always so helpful. Myself and the husband had to have training on how to tube feed Artie to be able to bring him home safely as he still wasn’t taking feeds by the bottle.

Discharge day happened and then it was a whole new set of worries. The house is cold? The feeding tube may not work? The unknown of not having transitional care team around us 24/7 in the event something goes wrong and then the worry of being first time parents and not knowing what to do!

However, once we got home and unpacked and set up our baby changing station, the cot and feeding station, we soon found our own routine and Artie quickly settled taking more and more of his bottles.

I believe coming home really helped Artie thrive and his feeding drastically improved within the first few days. I also believe, that it’s true what people say ‘mother instinct’ gets you through the early days of motherhood.

And I can truly say, that being a twin mum (along with its challenges) has made me a better version of myself, and I am whole heartedly the happiest I’ve ever been

I hope you enjoyed Annabel’s last blog on her twins early arrival – you can ready all my guest blogs here.

Welcome to my new mama and guest blogger Becky

I feel very lucky to have this opportunity to have these photos taken with Jess. With this being my second pregnancy I understand this time around how important it is to capture all these little moments to cherish forever, and something for our baby to look back on in years to come!

I am currently 29 weeks pregnant, due on 30th April, I feel like the time really is flying by!

Baby is now the size as a butternut squash at 38.6cm from head to heel! I feel like my bump is growing by the day, we have decided to keep the gender a surprise which we also done with our daughter who is now 2 years 4 months, it really is the best-kept secret!

Of course we have been playing guessing games as to what gender we think baby will be, as both my pregnancies have been very similar I really thought baby may be another girl, but after our 20 week scan and theories from the scan photo to go by I am now thinking they could be a boy!

Our daughter Amelia is so excited to be a big sister, she loves babies so I am hoping she is going to adore her sibling just as much! Now my bump is getting bigger she is more aware, we told her as soon as we found out that she was going to be a big sister and there is a baby in mummy’s tummy so she has been aware the whole pregnancy, but I feel like now she can see the bump growing and feel baby move she is more aware and excited.

We haven’t had too much to buy this time around as we have kept a lot of our daughters things, as we didn’t find out the gender with either babies we have a lot of newborn essentials that are neutral, I’ve already started to wash and prepare some of the newborn clothes ready and feeling so emotional as it only feels like yesterday I was doing it all in my first pregnancy, and remembering our daughter in all the little clothes, it will be so special to put our next baby in them too!

We have another scan booked at 32 weeks as when we went for our 20 week scan the sonographer wasn’t sure if my placenta was covering my cervix (I had no idea what this would mean) they explained we will need another scan at 32 weeks to check if it’s moved, if it has then all being well I will hopefully be able to deliver baby naturally, if the placenta is still covering the cervix then they said they will usually do another scan at 36 weeks to check again if it may have moved, if at this stage it hasn’t I will be booked in for a caesarean.

As I am writing this I feel like baby is having a party in my tummy! It really is the best feeling and we can’t wait to meet you little one!

Becky

You can view lots of my other guest bloggers here. 

I remember thinking I cant wait for Oscar to say his first word and what would it be. At 8 months Oscar said his first word and it was ‘dadda’. My husband was very happy about this, then at 9 months he finally said ‘mumma’ & it was the best feeling. Time is really flying and Oscar is changing by the day but I always make sure to take lots of pictures and videos so I can look back on all the memories we are making as a family something we had longed for, for so long.

You can read Emma’s other blogs here.

Motherhood blogger – Just like that Arlo is O N E!

Motherhood blogger – Just like that Arlo is O N E!

So what’s Arlo like after a whole year? Well, he’s completely different to his first tiny baby character. He’s a happy boy who loves to play, especially with his lion whose been a firm favourite since the early days, he loves his sleep (which we are very grateful for) and will let you know how annoyed he is if we wake him up before he’s ready in the morning, he is so sociable and will smile and wave at passerbyers. His toothy grin will melt anyone’s heart and his inquisitive nature grows by the day, I can see him figuring out how things work every day and the satisfaction you can see he has when he’s communicated something to us successfully makes all other worries you may have disappear. Even reading back on previous blogs I’ve done for Jess I can see the difference in how I’m describing Arlo and I’m so grateful to have those recollections to look back on as his character continues to flourish.

Our next phase we’re entering into is the transition of myself going from maternity leave to back to work. This has already brought some anxieties with it, will Arlo be ok? Will he understand I haven’t just left him? Who am I returning to work as – because I don’t feel the same person as when I left? In the past year, insights, priorities and life in general has shifted which leads me to lean on others around me who have been through this journey for guidance. By doing this, I’ve been thinking about advice I was given when Arlo was first born and what advice I found or would have found helpful at the time. One particular piece of advice or guidance I was given and I still resonate with is ‘Every journey in motherhood is different, just because one journey may look different doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Like no two kids are the same, nor are two first years.’

Thank you, Jess, for giving me the space to document Arlo’s first year, it’s been an absolute gift and an amazing experience.

Guest blog – twin pregnancy (Halfway) 20week milestone

Guest blog – twin pregnancy (Halfway) 20week milestone

Thank you Annabel for your blog updating us on your halfway milestone eeeekk.  I love reading about the pregnancy. We met this week for Annabel’s maternity shoot, which made me even more excited for the twin’s newborn session.

You can read Annabel’s first and second blogs here.

I asked Faye to blog again giving us her perspective on motherhood with chronic pain/ illness. I feel it’s important to read about different experiences of Motherhood.

What’s clear from my guest bloggers is that us mums acknowledge it can be tough, even tho each and every one us love our babies  – being honest and raw helps others feel less alone. We are bombarded daily on social media of picture-perfect parenting and it’s not real life.  Faye shares her story below.

We had our baby Theo at 32 weeks on the first of January, 2023 after a turbulent pregnancy (see other blog post) . To paraphrase, I spent weeks in hospital with sepsis and pneumonia because I have pathetic lungs and adrenal insufficiency. However, pregnancy ultimately saved my life and Theo continues to make every second of pain I have ever gone through feel absolutely worthwhile.

This post is more on ‘typical’ mothering, and trying to be a parent who also has complicated health problems. In theory, I would be unable to fathom how performing both would be possible. By that I mean taking my physical health – lung disease, adrenal insufficiency, fowlers syndrome, seizures etc – into account I would never imagine I would be able to be a mother.

Equally taking motherhood into account – the triple feeding I appear to have fallen victim to, sleepless nights, endless washing, cleaning & sterilising, lack of two seconds to sit down (this has taken me 2 weeks to write, grabbing seconds here and there!!) and of course the actual obsession with another human – it’s unfathomable to think this could be anything other than completely incongruous with chronic ill health and disability. However, somehow it’s working. And I don’t mean it’s running like a well-oiled machine, absolutely not! I’d say a better analogy is if you imagine a scenic cycle ride with stunning sea views, sunshine beating down on your gradually more toned and tanned arms and legs and a back pack full of cakes and Prosecco for the obligatory half way picnic. Picture the wonder of that (if it’s your cup of tea, which for many people I appreciate it probably is not…). Let’s say it is, but now amongst the brilliance of a joyful sunny bike ride; the chain on your bike keeps tangling and coming off, the handlebars are wobbly and the seat is too small, you’re pushing on creaking pedals the whole time and it’s making your glutes burn ! That’s my life. Absolutely bloody dreamy, and perfect, with my baby, my family and my friends making every day blissful… except that the vessel within which I am trying to enjoy this life is spectacularly broken, in need of the kind of MOT you need a mortgage for and progressively becoming harder and harder to drive. At risk of sounding like I did when I was a carefree teenager with no real problems at all: “No one understands!”.

Only now… I feel quite alone in the world of mothering on oxygen, mothering in agony, mothering through life threatening illnesses which have me hospitalised for weeks, mothering with rare conditions that many doctors haven’t even heard of and mothering through such insane exhaustion that some days I wonder how I’m still moving. The conundrum is that this body, this pathetic excuse for a body, made my baby boy. Somehow against the odds and although it almost killed me, this body created the life which gives me my own sparkling reasons to exist each day. If I were to complain to a friend, peer or family member about this I can almost guarantee they would say, in some roundabout way “but at least you have Theo!”. And for that reason I try not to. I used to have two beautiful friends who understood the horror of chronic illness. Both have sadly passed away and I often go to message them in times of struggle and am hit with a hammer of melancholy when I remember that they would not reply in this lifetime.

There are added complications when you’re a mother with chronic health problems. For example I recently attended a scan at the hospital. My darling baby was unsettled and crying so one of the technicians had to hold, jiggle and soothe him whilst the doctor completed the scan, meaning they had to make the notes they’d usually be calling to the assistant! Thankfully these people were angels and found me a quiet room to feed Theo in after and offered me tea! I also manage many many medications on a daily basis which has always felt like it takes a huge chunk of time, even pre baby. I recently spent ten days in hospital on forty mg a day of prednisone and was sent home with a slightly complicated weaning regime to get back to my usual dose of 5mg and 2mg which manages adrenal insufficiency. I messed up this regime, taking too little, because I was preoccupied with the baby and on autopilot taking my usual doses!

I prioritise Theo over everything else but when there is so much Theo admin and so much medical admin, not to mention life admin, balls do get dropped – just never the baby ones! And then there is the issue of actual hospital admissions which are beyond awful. I won’t go into the most recent one too heavily but ten nights away from Theo while I was too sick to look after him felt like it was killing me faster and more painfully than my lungs do. Every night when Tom took him home I felt like a major organ was being ripped from my body and I longed to feel the weight of his little body and I missed his smell, his smiles and even changing his nappies!

When they got back in the morning and Theo presented me with his gorgeous smile, my heart warmed and the fear and sadness immediately dissipated. So, parenting with illnesses has so many different complications, from the every day to the unexpected emergencies. Without Tom and both of our families and friends I don’t know how we would cope… Tom’s parents stayed while I was admitted on one of my hospital stays and looked after Theo while Tom worked, did nightshifts and kept our house clean and tidy as well as bringing me salads and drinks to hospital.

On another admission my mum stayed and held down the fort. Although we would cope without them, I’m sure, somehow, our support network is something we feel incredibly grateful for and it enables us to properly enjoy our baby. As well as family, I am also thankful that I have friends who understand parenthood! I met the most lovely lady when Theo was in the NICU. Her baby was born nine days after Theo and we spent many nights together in solidarity in the sometimes sad and eerie hospital ward in low light, listening to the chimes of incubator alarms and the teeny wails from lungs which weren’t quite ready to be hit by the big wide world. We keep in touch and meet for lunches and coffees where the empathy is palpable and the giggles and the cries are as real as the caffeine in my iced drinks (yes I drink caffeine and breastfeed! Hate all you like, I can’t stay awake after 2 hours sleep without it!). We also have friends with babies and friends without babies. Unfortunately none are local which makes Tom’s long twelve hour shifts feel like they go on for days, especially when my body is struggling (let’s face it, every day!) Those afternoons… when I just want to curl up in bed and have a nap but Theo is wide awake and waiting for me to play with him or feed him, they can feel so endless and exhausting.

In fact, I am currently sat on the sofa after a morning of racing around doing pharmacy, GP and house buying admin, wishing I could have a nap! Theo was too warm and wouldn’t sleep so I have finally settled him but he cries when I move him from my chest so we are stuck in a sweaty cuddle to allow him to snooze, and completely prevent any resting action on my part. He’s worth it, but we do hope Tom doesn’t have to work late. One thing about the exhaustion of parenting and the sterilising of bottles, struggles of breastfeeding anda ridiculous expenses, is that every parent gets it! After years of complicated, rare health problems which are hard to understand and diagnose, it’s actually quite nice to have difficulties that everyone relates to… it doesn’t always make them easier but it’s less isolating to be able to tell someone ‘oh gosh, my baby is having trouble sleeping and won’t settle in his cot!’ And someone else say ‘me too!’ Rather than ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about’ – which is usually the case when it comes to my health problems.

So, motherhood and chronic pain / illness and disability? It’s tough, it’s tiring, and there are added complications which people with illness alone or children but no health problems would never understand, but none of the difficulty can possibly detract from the wonder you feel when you look into your child’s eyes and see yourself and your (now second, sorry Tom!) favorite person in the world gazing back at you, loving and beautiful. We have a lot of hurdles yet to come and I do feel genuinely afraid of what our future holds, but I am, as always, optimistic that a cure will appear for my health and make life that bit less tricky. I hope you have enjoyed this blog! See links to the previous one where I rave about how much we love Jess and her photography, and please see my personal blog which I am slowly growing – when the baby allows me to!

Guest blog – 16 weeks gender scan

Annabel is back with her second blog, you can read my other motherhood blogs from various mamas here.

Consultant appointment

At 13 and half weeks we met with our multiplies consultant to find out our journey ahead. Our consultant was very efficient, he had read my medical history in depth prior to our appointment, which put me straight at ease and reassured us we were in capable hands. There was a discussion about the screening tests and the likelihood of twins being born premature and a potential needs for a planned C-Section. This was overwhelming to hear as we were still getting our heads around a successful scan and I still wasn’t able to look too far ahead in the future just yet. The consultant also recommended the Twins Trust for advice and antenatal classes, which we have now joined. We will see the consultant again at our 20 weeks appointment.

16weeks midwife appointment

What I thought was going to be a short visit with just a few checks, became a couple of appointments being booked in urgently. I had some spotting early on in the week and so the midwife booked me in for a reassurance scan, I went to the EPAU the following day and thankfully both babies were very active and there was no reason for the spotting. Within the same week, I had the glucose screening test done at the hospital due to having sugar in my urine sample (I blame the fresh orange juice that morning). I had to fast from midnight and until I had done my second blood test of the day, my only concern was how I’d be able to drink this glucose sugary drink, considering I could only manage to keep ice cold water down. I’ve gone off all other drinks, they make me have a sour taste and make me gag. I managed to drink two cups of the glucose drink (what I can only describe as sugary gloop) it wasn’t pleasant. Thankfully, my results were back within 24 hours and it showed my levels to be stable.

Pregnancy symptoms

I am feeling less nauseous now and I can tolerate most smells. I have also started to want a flavoured drink and I have managed to taste a cup of tea without gagging.

I have noticed my energy is returning and I can stay awake for longer. I’ve had some painful cramps in my calves at night time and some mild lower back ache but I wouldn’t change these symptoms for the world, I’ve got what we’ve always wanted. I feel very blessed. I am now beginning to see my bump develop, along with some stretching pains in both sides of my pelvic area. Ive started to use Neil’s Yard Mothers Balm to help moisturise my growing bump. I highly recommend this, it’s fragrance free and other nasty chemicals. I’ve found it massages in nicely.

Gender scan

It’s been a few weeks since we had our 12 week scan. We decided to book an additional private scan as we just felt the next scan at 20 weeks was so far away. The husband was keen to find out the gender of our twins, where I was more guarded and initially wasn’t sure if it was going to cause me more anxiety as I knew I’d be so much more invested. I knew all my feelings were psychological and actually finding out the gender would help us both bond with the babies more. We agreed and had a late evening appointment. I recall being told to close our eyes when the sonographer had a good look between the legs (we had a little giggle and fought hard to keep our eyes shut). We decided together that we would like to quietly open the envelopes at home. As we got back to the car with two green envelopes named twin 1 and twin 2, we both were yearning to open them while driving home! We literally got home and opened Twin 1 envelope first.. a girl! And then nervously opened up Twin 2.. a boy! I uncontrollably let out an ecstatic squeal (deep down, I think that’s what I wanted, one of each!). My husband, was punching the air with a huge grin on his face. We both feel so lucky.

check back soon for another blog from Annabel.