Blog 32 weeks

I was 3 years old when I climbed up in to the saddle and rode my first horse. My mother was an amazing horse woman and rider who actively encouraged me into riding from a young age. I grew up around these beautiful, gentle yet unpredictable beasts and from time to time I would find myself galloping off in the distance, firmly holding the reins (and sometimes gripping on to the saddle for dear life) before ending up safely back at home. Now that I have reached 32 weeks of this pregnancy I can certainly feel parallels between the rapid speed of this journey and the galloping horse bolting towards the finish line. I am well and truly strapped into the saddle of this wild and unpredictable ride…. and I am embracing it all.

Having a wild toddler and an energetic 5yr old at home with me 24/7 during a summer holiday heatwave (whilst feeling like an exhausted whale and still working) has been interesting. I have definitely felt the desire to go inwards and slow down ~ although August has not been the easiest month to actively put the breaks on. My health has been good up to this point and now I really feel the effects of carrying a little life, placenta, fluid and an extra 500ml of blood in my body. The morning sickness has returned, I definitely feel more achey and less supple and by the end of the day my feet have swollen so much I can barely fit in my shoes. However, each moment feels like a gift and is a beautiful reminder of how amazing my body is to adapt by creating, carrying and nourishing a whole new human in my womb.

I feel grateful to have a small garden for the children to play in and watch our veggie patch grow. Just waiting for the seeds to sprout and bloom into beautiful flowers, vegetables and fruit has helped them learn valuable lessons about patience, time and growth. They know this baby is taking time to grow into the little soul he or she will be, just like their little seeds they lovingly water each day.

I am feeling empowered and excited to greet my little baby in autumn. I have been carving out time each day to do “one” thing to prepare either my mind, body or spirit for birth. Some days I stretch and flow in a simple pregnancy yoga sequence (the kids love to join in), other days I have been immersing myself in books about birth, or watching positive birth videos and listening to amazing birth stories. I was kindly gifted a place on an online conscious birth course which has has been transformational because it has enabled me to realise I have the power within ME to make informed, empowered and conscious choices for how I will birth my baby. I am still journalling and have started the process of creating a little birth Altar adorned with birth affirmations, crystals, a beautiful pregnant statue my sister bought for me and other small items that I will likely use in the birth space. My birth playlist is slowly getting created and I’m listening to lots of music and dancing and avoiding hearing anything negative (E.g. the news).

They say that no two babies are the same, just as birth is different and unique for all birthing families. My first birth was my teacher. My second birth was my healer. I am excited to see what this little soul and birth experience will bring to our lives. I am really keen to have a water birth but due to complications with my illness, I am ‘technically’ classed as a high-risk pregnancy and birth that will require monitoring on a labour/delivery ward. I am hopeful that my request to give birth on a midwife-led unit will be listened to, however, I am keeping my mind and options open because I know what an unpredictable ride birth (just like my horses) can be.

Everything that I ‘thought’ was important during my first pregnancy ~ such as the baby clothes/Moses basket/blankets/hospital bag etc is physically being sorted in the background. My main focus this time is on really connecting to my body and baby, tuning into my maternal instincts and intuition and planning for a nourishing and healing 4th trimester (or postpartum journey).

I am not sure how many weeks I have left before I get to hold this little soul in my arms. Each time the children ask “when is the baby going to be born?” I simply reply…. “when the leaves turn golden orange and start to fall from the trees, the baby will know when to come”. I still have so much I want to do before the golden brown leaves do start to fall from the trees! But I am trying not to get too swept up in the business of planning and preparing this time and simply and mindfully enjoying each moment and each day of this beautiful, wild, unpredictable ride.

Cristi has a bump shoot this week with me, I loved seeing Theo and Eden again- check out some of their images below.

I cant wait to hear more about her pregnancy and birth soonish…