Pregnant Guest blogger Norwich Mumbler
2019
Pregnant Guest Blogger Norwich Mumbler - 29 weeks update
When they say each pregnancy feels like it goes faster, they’re not lying.
I am 29 weeks pregnant now, which means only a mere 11 weeks to go. At the beginning, 11 weeks feels like it the last forrrrrrrever, but now it feels like time is running away and B-Day (Birth Day) will be here before I know it.
I think one of the main problems is I’m trying to organise a rather large Norwich Mumbler children’s activities event at the beginning of June…and I’m due on 29th June. My husband was unimpressed when I told him my plan and said he would refuse to help me. Of course, he will help, he was just saying it out of protest that I was going to attempt this event at 37 weeks pregnant, but having an event deadline before the baby deadline is definitely making time feel like it is going even faster.
DELEGATION will be my word of the day for the event on 9th June – if only I could delegate on the 29th June too, ha!
Even though time is FLYING, I’ve been pretty good at taking regular bump pics and I’ve posted a few bump photos on my Instagram stories (for some reason it feels less public than posting them to the Mumbler FB page?). Quite a few people have commented on what a neat bump it is and I do always seem to grow a good bumpy type bump, but as ‘neat’ as the bump looks, it is now 85% stretchmarks.
They radiate from my belly button to around the diameter of a football. I know body positivity and ‘loving the stripes’ is very popular at the moment, and when the bump is full of the baby it is way easier to accept them, but it is the aftermath that I am slightly dreading.
I am trying to feel ok about them though and remind myself that my body has stretched itself to its limit not once, not twice, but THREE times and so far grown two incredibly hilarious, stubborn, kind and noisy humans. Hopefully, number 3 will be just as hilarious and kind, and a little bit less stubborn and noisy, but that it will still remind me it’s ok not to be ok with my post-baby body…it’s still damn amazing.
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Norwich Mumbler my new pregnant guest blogger
Norwich Mumbler my new pregnant guest blogger 2018
I always knew I wanted two children. I used to joke to my husband about wanting three just to see him squirm or get cross about what a logistical nightmare it would be etc, etc. but I knew 2 was our number.
YET…along came baby number two and whilst I was ‘soaking her in’ and ‘making the most of her’ because I knew she was our last one, I had this niggle in the back of my head that perhaps we weren’t done. Lots of my friends have said they absolutely, unequivocally knew they were done, but I never felt it!
Fast-forward nearly two years later and we’d sorted out the logistical nightmares of potentially having three children when that little line showed on the pregnancy test! I have to say though, even though it was what we wanted, I was not prepared for the sudden guilt tears that followed.
Guilt for our two girls, who would have the upheaval of a new sibling, guilt that they might think we weren’t happy with just them, guilt for people who can’t conceive, guilt for people who have lost, guilt, guilt, guilt.
It took a little while to get my head around having another baby, our youngest has only just started sleeping through (she’s nearly 2!) and the thought of going back to the 2-hourly wakeups and seemingly constant sleep regressions was HARD but, after two children, I am well-versed in the fact that nothing lasts forever and everything is a ‘phase’. The days are long but the years are short, right?
My last two pregnancies have been very sicky for the first 9 to 15-22 weeks, so when week 9 came with this pregnancy I was ready. Apart from I wasn’t sick – hurrah! I was nauseous from week 6 but nothing that some bitter lemon or a sour Haribo wouldn’t fix. I was so pleased, if not a little smug.
Then BAM, it hit - I thought I’d escaped, but no. Eugh! (and I’m definitely voting for this one being another girl – ha!)
The first 16 weeks have been hard. Doing school runs and running after a ‘strong-willed’ 2-year-old, whilst trying to keep on top of my Norwich Mumbler to-do list (not to mention housework, cooking etc.) hasn’t been the easiest, but there’s finally some light at the end of my ‘morning sickness’ tunnel, so bring on the rest of the second trimester.
Check out my other blogs and we will hear from Katrin again in the future. Please also check out her awesome website, a hub for all things family related! And if you fancy experiencing a newborn shoot with me feel free to contact me for more information.
Guest Blog - Chelsea's Birth Story
Guest Blog – Chelsea’s Birth Story, Norwich Blogger; 2018
This is Chelsea’s final blog to let us know all about her labour and birth at the Norfolk and Norwich hospital, it’s been amazing having her write and blog her first pregnancy a BIG THANK YOU, Chelsea.
Monday 3rd December at 18.27pm was when my life changed for the better. Through the tiredness, tears and sore bits came beautiful blue eyes, tiny toes, and peach fuzz hair.
My long awaited labour came at 41 weeks +3 starting at 1 am on Sunday 2nd with waters breaking and painful cramps. I laid awake wondering when the best time was to poke my husband awake to tell him ‘It’s Happening’, after all, we’re in it together and he needs his sleep to keep me sane when I can’t get mine!
2 hours later I needed to start my ‘Tens Machine’ and I can’t put it on myself so when I eventually plucked up the courage to whisper to Adam that I need him to help me, he freaked… 3 nervous toilet breaks later he was on top form! Keeping my glass topped up, rubbing my back, contacting parents to tell them the news and keeping in touch with MLBU with up to date info on my progression.
By 11 am my ‘Surges’ were 3 in 10 so i rushed over to the MLBU ward whilst laying on top of cushions and blankets my hubby had set out for me on the back seat, like my very own blanket bed listening to our homemade hypnobirthing playlist. Thank god for ‘Spotify’!
After I hobbled into MLBU in the hope that I’d be popping out my baby within an hour or so I found out I was 1cm dilated…CRUSHED…how could that be? My contractions then accelerated to 1min-30sec apart so I was kept in and transferred to Cley ward with an injection of pethidine to help me sleep as I’d been awake close to 35hrs with only 2 hours sleep, 18 of those were in labour.
The following 22hrs were a blur, from being transferred back to MLBU at 4cm, continuing my Hypnobirthing breathing in warm baths then transferred onto the Delivery Suite when I went beyond 24hrs for risk of infection. I then had the beloved Hormone drip and an Epidural (recommended from the MidwiVes).
Some hours later And after pushing for 1hr ½ with minimum pain relief as my epidural was inserted too high, I had a swarm of doctors around me trying to talk to me about intervention. In all honesty, I have no idea who was talking to me about what, I had to sign my life away with reassurance from my hubby on what was best. I was prepped for a forceps delivery and a cesarean section. I was scared and shaking sitting on the edge of the bed clutching my ‘bb hug me’ pillow when my Epidural was whipped out and spinal block inserted. I was given an Episiotomy operation and a manual placenta removal (yep just as unpleasant as it sounds).
My baby was back to back and had shoulder dystocia. My beautiful Arlo was born with large bruising on the back of his head from pushing on my pelvic bone, Lacerations under his right eye from forceps which caused swelling and an eye hematoma. His cry was a horrific painful cry, Arlo was transferred to Nicu to have a cannula for antibiotics and pain relief which is where he went every day.
Off I then went to Blakeney which is where I stayed for a week while we both recover. I discovered my little one and learned how to breastfeed him. The midwives were beyond great.
The NHS is constantly criticised but there’s never enough praise for the amazing job that the midwives, nurses, and surgeons do on a daily basis. I had a 42hr labour and I got through it with the most amazing caring staff. Who are at your bedside for encouragement and hugs when it all your emotions run wild together and my modern day hero hubby who helped me through my pain and discomfort.
I didn’t have the labour I had intended but I would do everything again. Our little Arlo is beyond beautiful and he amazes me every day, and in all honesty, once you look into those big beautiful blue eyes everything is forgotten.
Too soon for another??
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A Happy Family Christmas the realistic way - guest blog
A Happy Family Christmas the realistic way – guest blog by Sam James 2018
Christmas time with babies and young children can be a magical time. It can also be a stressful time. Parenthood is an ongoing wrestle between ideal expectations versus reality, and Christmas can be a stark reminder of this. That’s why I am going to share my 3 top tips to help you to create a realistically happy Christmas for you and your family.
I remember our son’s first Christmas and I had put so much pressure on myself to have the ‘perfect’ Christmas, fuelled by my perception of what all my new mummy friends were preparing and what the world of adverts, films, and social media were telling me Christmas should be like.
The reality was nothing like it. The stress built like a pressure cooker, and it felt like everything that could go wrong did go wrong:
- Our trip home from South Wales to Norfolk was delayed by several days due to heavy snowfall (I normally love snow, but not in 2010!)
- My husband and I ended up with food poisoning
- My grandmother’s water pipe burst in her garage
- My parents washing machine broke
- We argued with our families. I remember hiding in my room, messaging friends, wishing I was in my own home.
- Our son was poorly on Christmas Day and I spent a considerable amount of my day on the phone to 111.
- I lost my voice on Boxing day and woke up with conjunctivitis.
I vividly remember feeling so disappointed, upset and exhausted. At the time this was all I could focus on. That Christmas was a failure.
Yet, if I were to share photos of our son’s first Christmas it won’t show any of that. It will show him with his stocking, opening presents with his cousins, having his first Christmas lunch, families laughing and playing together.
In reality, 8 years on, I am able to recognise that despite all of the drama that surrounded Christmas 2010, there were many moments to treasure. With hindsight I wish I had taken the pressure off myself and my family to have a ‘perfect’ time, that I had lowered my expectations and embraced the time together warts and all.
It is so easy to get swept along with what we think everyone else is doing and feeling like we should be keeping up with everyone else. So, how can you try and make Christmas work for you without the stress?
Create a Realistic Happy Christmas.
- Create your own family traditions
Don’t force yourself to do things that ‘everyone else’ always seems to be doing, if it doesn’t fit for you. Everyone’s situations are totally different – what works for your friend or your sibling’s family might lead to huge financial strain for you, or a really uncomfortable family situation.
- Focus on time together.
What do you want Christmas to feel like for you and your family? People remember the feelings they are left with far longer than the things that they are left with. As humans we are wired to seek out connections with each other, and being with other people and sharing positive experiences far out ways material objects, in terms of long-term happiness. There is a post on social media, written by a teacher for parents as a reminder of just this – that when they go back to school when asked about Christmas, the children share stories of staying in their pj’s for the day, playing games, watching films, going for walks. If they mention presents it tends to be the last thing they talk about.
- Soften your expectations.
It is going to sound pessimistic, but I now accept that there are going to be moments when I want to scream at everyone, that someone will end up ill, that there will be some very random present choices and some things won’t go to plan. By accepting these things in advance, I won’t feel like Christmas is ruined if it happens. So, be honest with yourself, and where can you lower the bar of expectation this Christmas?
If you’d love more tips for reducing the Christmas stress you can find my 8 top tips here https://samjamescoaching.co.uk/tinsel-tantrums/
Enjoy your Christmas in whatever way you choose. I can’t wait for snuggles on the sofa in pj’s with my tribe!
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The Honest Confessions of a NICU Mum on… Co- sleeping
The Honest Confessions of a NICU Mum on… Co- sleeping 2018
Don’t let baby sleep in your bed.
Put them down awake.
Get rid of the dummy.
Put socks on him.
Dream feed them.
Have you tried a banana before bed?
Order a white noise machine, Gro clock, and blackout blinds.
Type in ‘how to get a baby to sleep through the night’, and you will be met with so much conflicting and sometimes very odd advice.
Elijah our first child was always a pretty good sleeper, from around six weeks he slept 7-7 and after about a year he did so in his own room. Other than the odd early wake-up, or a bout of illness and even getting rid of the dummy we have always had it pretty good with him.
We co-slept for a while, it just happened naturally, if he woke up early he would come in with us and we would sleep until a reasonable hour.
I remember being told that this was the worst possible thing to do, we would ‘create a rod for our own backs’, he wouldn’t sleep in his own room and wouldn’t be able to settle himself, etc.
I liked him being close to me, it meant I could keep an eye on him, and as he got bigger I liked it when he snuck in our bed.
Bed hopping
I do vaguely remember there was a time where the three of us would bed hop, between his room, our room and the sofa but do you know what, we still slept.
I got told by someone that if it isn’t a problem for you, then there is no problem and I hand on my heart believe this. We all slept and no it wasn’t the most convenient thing in the world but it kind of worked.
Then came his brother who didn’t quite follow in his brothers footsteps, so much so even now at sixteen months still doesn’t sleep very well.
We thought we had learnt a lot from having Elijah, and we were quite open to co sleeping again if it meant that we all slept but we were not prepared when it came to our little sleep thief.
I even in a sleep deprived state ordered a Ewan the Sheep in hope it would work, it did not.
Take last night, he went to bed in his room, woke up but settled again around five times but as we were approaching the wee hours he came in with us and slept until 7am, and allowed his brother a lay in until 7.30am!
The need for sleep
Some may have an issue about co sleeping and it obviously can be very dangerous in certain situations and I am not necessarily an advocate for it, I am however very much for getting sleep.
I don’t have any worries that by co sleeping that I will have one of them in the bed until they are teenagers.
I think in the first couple of years you are in survival mode and you do what you can to get the illustrious bout of sleep that you think about all day long.
There will be a time where they wont be waking up. Clambering into your bed, kicking you for hours through the night or my personal favourite using your head as a pillow.
It is and when your child doesn’t sleep, and you really do get quite desperate trying everything and anything.
It can be even harder when you know others their age who do sleep, and it can feel as though you are the one doing something wrong.
Once you have had a baby you are in such a rush for them to sleep through the night as we believe that this is an indication of their ability in a way.
Truth be told, I don’t think much helps, they will sleep when and where they want to. A little further down the road something will click and you will be waking up with a toddler heavy breathing in your face demanding that it is time for breakfast and C Beebies.
Three or four in a bed
Strangely, you will begin to miss those times where you woke up with no duvet and neck ache, snuggled up with someone whose nappy is feeling and smelling way too full.
Or when you, your partner, your child and every single one of their teddies have to come in and you find yourself balanced on the edge of the bed not daring to move in case you fall out!
Let go of the pressure, the guilt if you are reading this after a semi-successful night where your baby/toddler/ pre-schooler/ cat and you did share a bed then don’t sweat it.
Once again, if it isn’t a problem for you, it isn’t a problem, try not to compare yourselves.
Different things work for different people, and that’s okay, however, if one of them does still sleep with us when he is in his twenties then I may come back to revisit this!
Vicki Cockerill is a Freelance Content Writer and NICU/CHD Mum to two boys, she authors The Honest Confessions Of A NICU Mum Blog, founded and runs The NICU Parent Partnership Organisation and co-hosts @KnackeredandNorwich Social Club. You can contact her via her blog or social media;
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Guest blog - cake smash with Jess
Guest blog – my cake smash photos with Jess Wilkins Photography, Norfolk Photographer 2018
By Muffin and Puffin & Mollie!
When Jess asked about collaborating for a photoshoot cake-smash I was delighted. It was the perfect timing to mark a milestone birthday, Mollie turning 2 and also gave me an opportunity to bring some local businesses together to celebrate one another, support one another and share some hopefully wonderful content.
Knowing Jess as I do, I wasn’t worried or nervous in the slightest, she has a very calming nature and I knew that Mollie, while I couldn’t guarantee to pose perfection, wouldn’t feel anything other than calm and happy in her studio.
We pulled up with cake and outfits and went straight into her perfect little studio. White, calm, beautiful, natural props and a tiny delicate rail of beautiful baby clothes (how I wish we had come to Jess when Mollie was a few days old!) A little slice of studio heaven.
Mollie was instantly drawn to the props, in particular, the wooden birthday cake (how apt!) and from there it was a breeze. She happily got into her matching Christmas PJs with me (a small request for an image from myself) and before we had a chance to give any sort of direction she had pulled the chair into the middle of the set and started posing. She does not take after me at all(!)
A quick outfit change later into a piece made specially by the very talented Little Dottie Designs and she was back into pose mode… gleefully knocking over the TWO props and delicately eating all the sprinkles from the cake, Mollie was indeed ready for the cake smash photos to commence.
Jess gave no direction; the whole experience was led by Mollie with me guiding her for a few of the shots. We stopped when she stopped, and Jess shot when she was happily eating her Little Cake Company cake (topped beautifully by the topper from the talented Vellamaes) and we also took some fun time-lapse videos from #bts.
In under an hour, it felt that it came to a natural end as there had been no incidents, meltdowns or tears… Mollie truly enjoyed the experience as did I. I have threatened to come back weekly for Jess’ calming influence over my little whirlwind of a toddler.
I cannot recommend Jess enough, she’s a mama herself and she just ‘gets it’ she was efficient without being bossy, she was calm without being airy and it felt more like a playdate than a studio shoot.
There’s not much point waxing lyrical about the final shots – I think they speak for themselves.
Jess can we come back for every birthday?
Sophie x
The Honest Confessions of a NICU Mum on…. Birth
The Honest Confessions of a NICU Mum on…. Birth 2018
I recently met someone who I knew, last time I saw her she was heavily pregnant, and now she was pushing a little bundle around.
I went to congratulate her, and then it was though I couldn’t help myself, I then asked her if the birth was good, turns out she had a rotten time and I felt awful and intrusive for even asking.
Having both of my boys, I have suffered two birth traumas and used to hate when people asked me if it was natural, painful or my favourite ‘good’.
I had found myself using the exact phrase I used to abide, why is it as a nation we are so interested in birth stories, and always want to know exactly how someone gave birth before you’ve even asked the baby’s name?
Wellbeing
It’s odd we are normally so focused on the baby, we tend to forget the wellbeing of the mum, as she is just expected to put everything to one side now she is responsible for the small human she just birthed.
Birth has changed so much over time, dads are now active birth partners, there are new practices and methods.
I think I must have just been really oblivious when I was pregnant with my eldest about giving birth, we went to antenatal classes but seeing a doll being pushed through a pelvis doesn’t really have the same effect as actually giving birth, does it?
One Born Every Minute terrified me so I had to stop watching it, towards the end of my pregnancy I was felt very underprepared. I felt for the first time mum I was not really educated when it came to giving birth. Yes, all births are different and it might have been my own fault for relying only on the antenatal classes, but I really didn’t have a clue.
Spoiler alert; it is not like it is in the films.
With both of my births, I was sick and had an awful stomach during contractions which meant for two labours I spent most of my time on the toilet. I actually stayed on the toilet with both of them until I was ready to push!
Hospital vs Home
Elijah was born in hospital after 8 hours and a fairly textbook labour but I suffered a significant hemorrhage and the aftermath of being stitched up traumatised me. I developed and infection and needed a blood transfusion. I didn’t have a clue what was being done or why.
I spent so much of my time re living the birth over and over which when I fell pregnant the second time, it made me fear giving birth again.
There was a turning point and that was attending a hypnobirthing course with Jackie at The Orange Grove Clinic. I learned so much about my attitude towards birth, my language and for the first time in seven months I felt positive and empowered to give birth the way I wanted.
That’s the thing with giving birth again you are suddenly more aware, you know what could and couldn’t happen and you are more prepared.
Let down
Which makes me think perhaps we are letting down some first-time mums if they like me were solely relying on the local antenatal classes, or perhaps as a society, it is our view as birth as a whole?
Out attitude, our language, our pressure to live up to an unrealistic image of birth and when we don’t achieve it we feel as though we have failed.
Turns out my second son had other ideas, and after sitting down to watch Die Hard 2, I ended up giving birth less than fifty minutes later in the bath!
My two experiences were polar opposites when I did eventually get to the hospital with Harlow, I was met on the Midwife Led Birthing Unit, and they were so mindful of my past experience and supported and understood me.
Empowered
It made me think it really does make a difference when there is someone there to empower you, I wish I had that the first time around. Or perhaps someone had just taken the time to talk to me, to explain what was going on, being done then perhaps I wouldn’t have been so unaware of things.
There is an attitude shift towards birth at the moment, and we are beginning to look at our attitude, our language is no longer your dirty little secret if you have a ‘bad’ birth or trauma, there is a focus on you, and your wellbeing after birth.
Birth Better
There is a fabulous network called the Birth Better Network who are doing just that, and revolutionising the way birth has affected us, and how we can make significant changes for the future. The Huffington Post which has hundreds of thousands of readers every day is also currently doing a fantastic series called the Birth Diaries to show how diverse birth can be.
I think we still have a long way to go regarding educating ourselves about birth, and we still need to shift our attitude and let the new mum take the lead to talk about her experience is she wants to but the important thing is not to put pressure or high expectations on birth and to give everyone the tools they need to have the birth they want. Or if things don’t go to plan it is explained to them every step of the way.
Vicki Cockerill is a Freelance Content Writer and NICU/CHD Mum to two boys, she authors The Honest Confessions Of A NICU Mum Blog and co-founded the @KnackeredandNorwich Social Club and campaigns for NICU and MMH issues. You can contact her via her blog or social media;
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Pregnancy guest blogger 35 weeks- hypnobirthing & antenatal classes
Pregnancy guest blogger 35 weeks- hypnobirthing & antenatal classes in Norwich 2018
Waking up on the floor, dazed and confused…I was obviously quite receptive to a hypnotised Alpha Brain state… Or if not… I was very tired!
We saw the wonderful Jackie – owner of ‘The Orange Grove Clinic’ for a weekend of Hypnobirthing. She was great! Honest, informative and reassuring. We studied Balloon breathing, Feather breathing, and Deep breathing whilst pelvic tilting on a Bouncy ball all on a Saturday and Sunday afternoon. I now feel like I understand what my clever body will go through. I never thought I would be able to have a water birth or be able to give birth to my baby without medical intervention, I now truly believe that I am capable of doing whatever I wish for our little one’s big day. I feel more empowered than ever. Go, women!
We have begun our Antenatal classes this month. ‘Birth to Babies’ was what we opted for. Our team of new parent troops are lovely, and our tutor Sian is very informative and makes the evening entertaining. We group up in small numbers to express fears and then try to solve them, we test out birthing positions, strategies and discuss the role of our other halves. I’m now part of a ‘Yummy Mummy’s’ group in which we share advice and plan catch ups over must needed coffee and cake.
Sometimes it’s nice to get away from it all, so my hubby and I had a treat night away at Park Farm. Swimming in their warm pool feeling light and bouncy and lounging in our luxury suite was just what we needed. I’m a sucker for a freebie, so coming into our room with salted caramel and hazelnut chocolate, wrapped up in ribbon on the bed accompanied by a bottle of ice cold Shloer (pregnancy wish) was such a treat and I felt super special.
After our romantic getaway, we thought we would make a detour to visit to the MLBU ward. We rang ahead and they confirmed it was quiet that day so we should pop up to visit. The rooms we could sneak a peek into had dimmed lighting, twinkly lights and birthing pools, which is perfect for me to use my new hypnobirthing techniques along with my portable music sound system, essential oils spray and battery candles… Like a spa they say. All of the midwives at N&N have been reassuring friendly and we are so lucky to be having our baby in their safe hands!
On a final note, we are PACKED! Everything prepared in the boot rearing to go. I’ve tried to cleverly pack my bag that my hubby knows where to look for my ‘Give me this item now’ when I’m squealing at him and throwing raised eyebrows in his direction. Baby’s bag was the best to pack as I get to sit there all teary eyed deciding on which baby grow I love the most, and looking through the tiny socks and booties trying to match to the outfit. Hubby’s bag is filled with pants and food…. Standard.
Chelsea
read Chelsea’s other guest blogs here 🙂
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The Honest Confessions of a NICU Mum on…. Baby Classes Norfolk
The Honest Confessions of a NICU Mum on…. Baby Classes Norfolk 2018
So, it seems that once you’ve got the baby out of you then you have to then suddenly fill your calendar with sensory classes, baby massage and bounce and rhyme classes.
During my pregnancy with my eldest, I can’t really remember finding local baby classes or planning to attend them. It was more than likely the fact others were doing it and me feeling like I should too!
I was quite fortunate to live a few minutes from a local children’s centre where they held most of the baby classes in my town.
Even looking back now I remember baby classes with conflicting emotions.
Elijah had colic so someone had suggested baby massage and I did put our names down to see if it would help.
By this point, we had endured a NICU stay, and were waiting for a surgery date. I began to decline mentally and certainly remember feeling panicky about attending the class.
Luckily my friend also attended with me, but I still feeling some afraid that people would pick out me as the NICU Mum, and I didn’t want their pity. I was going through a really bad time of accepting what we had been through, and also what we would have to go through and meeting other mums with their healthy babies was hard.
I briefly mentioned it to the teacher in case there was any sort of medical restriction and I saw the pity in her eyes.
I did what I do best, and deflected it, providing some distraction was also Elijah who had projectile vomited all over one of those brightly coloured mats.
As much as baby classes are great for getting you out of the house, for meeting other mums I think there is also a slightly darker side to them, well that’s my experience anyway.
I found I was always comparing myself to others, and my baby too, who was bigger, was sleeping better, who was doing what.
There is also a fear of judgement when I whipped my Tommee Tippee out of the changing bag, I felt like I was failing.
This is likely just a representation of my mental state at the time, and I am even now, very socially awkward.
I did find it quite hard to go into a room full of parents I didn’t know and to me felt as though I was being put on trial.
I tended to feel comfortable with certain mum friends and would prefer just a house playdate rather than sitting in a circle singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.
Over the first 18 months with Elijah, we attended them sporadically, but I just don’t think we found the right fit for us. We also had a lot going on with NICU surgery, recovery etc they were just not on my top list of priorities.
I think there is a stigma surrounding baby classes too, I know of some wonderful ladies whom I have met who run their own classes and I am sure they would have certainly been better suited to us.
There are some great baby classes now on offer that are now offering something different from the norm that also helps the parents out too (links below).
Greg always felt the odd one out as he tended to be the only dad and I just didn’t feel comfortable enough to keep going back.
I haven’t actually taken Harlow to a baby class and I do beat myself up he is missing out but the truth is with two kids, and a trillion schedules to manage we just don’t have time. He is quite happy to play with Elijah and friends.
It has saddened me that many Children’s Centres are closing and this is where many baby classes are held, and despite me not using them much I know how important they are to others and having the access of them.
It is funny how we as parents put so much pressure on ourselves to sensor the hell out of our little ones believing it is what we should be doing at a detriment to ourselves.
I worry about this unnecessary pressure on vulnerable new mums and wish I could go back and tell that panicked mum it was all okay and it doesn’t matter because you are just doing your best.
Happy mum/dad, happy baby whether you go to baby class or not.
Yoga Babies
Baby Fit
Waterbabies
Beebops
Vicki Cockerill is a Freelance Content Writer and NICU/CHD Mum to two boys, she authors The Honest Confessions Of A NICU Mum Blog and co-founded the @KnackeredandNorwich Social Club and campaigns for NICU and MMH issues. You can contact her via her blog or social media;
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Be a self-care goddess this winter - GUEST BLOG
Be a self-care goddess this winter - Guest blog from Sophie aka Muffin and Puffin 2018
Let's chat self-care. As the season draws in; showcasing autumnal hues, big knitwear, pumpkins, the quality street on the shelves and the Harry Potter movies every Saturday night - it seems that hunkering down and enjoying life indoors is here for the foreseeable. Truly, it’s my favourite season but also a season where I find I sit on a delicate balance of the blues and the joys. So, I thought I would write myself a list of things to ensure I look after my self and those around me to keep it on the side of joy as much as possible.
Plan
Ever look in the shops at this time of year and wonder who is going to all these Christmas parties and where are those Christmas parties that warrant so many sequins and dresses? Well, I’m not being invited to them, so I’ll make my own plans. Christmas outings, mince pies and hot chocolates with friends, woodland walks (forest bathing is IN this season) baking, movie and duvet days. I always find having small things to look forward to improves my mood greatly.
Listen
I’ve really started to enjoy podcasts… loud music makes me happy, nothing can beat insomnia-faithless while cleaning the bathroom (how rock n roll) but I’ve actually discovered some wonderful podcasts that lift my mood. Right now, I’m listening to ‘Couples Therapy’ with Casey and Candice Neistat and Dolly Alderton’s ‘Love Stories’ also an oldie but a goodie for comedy is the ‘Adam and Joe show’ for BBC6 music. Go forth and listen!
Treat
Winter can be a season of excess and with that comes guilt but eat the naughty stuff just in moderation! For me, it’s not just mince pies but online shopping. There’s no greater thrill than a package in the post!
Cook
I love being in the kitchen, but a sleepless toddler makes those meals from scratch hard to make in the evening… so instead I’m planning on making chutney and sugars and various baking items and involving her in the process. Time in the kitchen in therapeutic for me… the process of selecting ingredients, chopping and then enjoying the final result… me time and a delicious meal or treat at the end.
Hobby
I am a total one for trying new things, but I’ll admit I don’t always see them through. I desperately want to be able to crochet… I bought all the gear and worked for 6 hours trying to crochet a basic square. I gave up…. So, this year I’m working on my photography and trying to read as much as I can… hobbies don’t have to be all about craft!
Alone
This is becoming more apparent that it is something I don’t just need but is a necessity. I am an all-around better person if I have managed to have a few hours in the week where it is just me and my headspace. Now go away, it’s Netflix time.
Screens
I have been told this is a good idea… I am yet to set the rules as my job is social media and that relies on phones and screens, but I need to set boundaries with my phone and create some ‘no phone zones’! So, I’ll be making a conscious effort this winter to unplug from technology and be fully present.
Move
I won’t lie I fall in and out of love with exercise daily, I’ve never regretted a workout, but I struggle with the motivation to get there. So, I’m going to embrace the movement I do enjoy – walking. I love being outside on a cold crisp day and so does my little one. Exercise and valuable time together… the perfect combination of self-care.
So that’s my self-care list, there’s plenty more I’m sure and if you have any other suggestions then let me know!
Sophie
Sophie Lynn
Owner @ Muffin&Puffin
‘A mini marketing company’
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