New pregnant blogger – Secret blogger

My lovely blogger Kate has had her twin boys, she’ll be in the studio soon and blogger how the birth went!

I also have a new pregnant blogger – it’s a secret for a little bit longer until she is 20 weeks

On the day I found out I was pregnant I remember how crisp and cool the air felt outside. It was early in February and I had an overwhelming feeling that I was carrying a little life inside me. Before I went to purchase a pregnancy test (or 4!) I took my youngest to the forest to clear my head and calm my nervous system. I wasn’t really sure how I was feeling.

A mixture of pure exhilaration, excitement and joy but also worry over how my body might respond to another pregnancy. (During my previous pregnancies I have been unwell and living with an autoimmune disease always brings uncertainties and complications to each pregnancy). However the forest restored my sense of calm, it reminded me that I was safe and that life and indeed nature has a way knowing how to grow into something beautiful and new.

That afternoon, with my youngest by my feet, I took a pregnancy test and there it was ~ two little blue lines confirming my what my intuition had been telling me. We were due to travel on holiday in 2 days so the timing was interesting, but my partner was over the moon (and only had to stare at the tests a couple of times before realising they were not lateral flow tests).

We have two small children and decided it would be best to wait until the 12 week scan before we told them I had a little life growing in my belly. Mainly because my eldest is very sociable and I imagined scenarios of them telling everyone in any beach / forest / walk / shop we went to that mummy has a baby in her tummy.

During the first 6-12 weeks the food aversions and sickness was unreal. I have experienced this in all of my pregnancies and it never gets any easier. The term “morning sickness” is rubbish because this type of sickness lasted 24/7. I managed by sipping carbonated water and eating potatoes for what felt like a lifetime but was probably only 5-6 weeks. I found it a lot harder to manage the exhaustion with two children under 5 as there was very little time to simply rest compared to my first pregnancy. Hiding it from work colleagues was also interesting as those Microsoft teams cameras can be unforgiving if you are experiencing a day of sickness mixed with back to back meetings.

Now that I am in the second trimester, the sickness and exhaustion has definitely faded. I have more energy and am finding I can eat more than just potatoes and chips. I am also enjoying reading about mindful pregnancy techniques such as breath-work, meditation, hypnobirthing and yoga and have spent time each week documenting my pregnancy journey by writing in a journal. My children now know they have a baby brother/sister who will be joining them earth-side very soon and my bump is definitely starting to show. Soon I will tell more people but I have really enjoyed keeping this pregnancy to ourselves for now.

We have had our 12 week scan and it always feel surreal to see a little soul wiggling around on a black and white monitor and yet also be unable to feel anything from inside. The scan brought so much relief but of course every now and again I catch my thoughts wandering into worry.

Each week I write affirmations in my journal and on the days when I feel anxious or unsure about my capabilities I repeat some of the following:

*my body knows how to protect and nourish my baby, *I trust my instincts, *I am present, *I trust my body to know what to do. I am going with the flow and it feels good to really savour each moment of this pregnancy.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Pop back in a few weeks for more guest blogs!