Ulcerative Colitis in Pregnancy Norwich

Ulcerative Colitis in Pregnancy Norwich

Welcome to my new guest blogger Cristi, she will be chatting all things pregnancy related and letting us know what is like to have Ulcerative Colitis in Pregnancy.

‘We have a problem’… those were the exact words the nurse whispered to me whilst I was laying in a hospital bed waiting for possible stomach surgery.
‘Your test came back positive, congratulations you’re pregnant’. Almost 3 years ago I was admitted to hospital for a flare-up of Ulcerative Colitis (a condition I suffer with). I was waiting to see if I needed stomach surgery when they asked the question “is there any chance you could be pregnant?” I struggled to remember when my last period was, so tests were done and to our (happy) surprise we were diagnosed with Colitis and pregnancy all in one day!

Fast forward 3 years and I’m still breastfeeding my now 2-year-old daughter, Eden. Whilst we were not “actively” taking precautions to prevent pregnancy – we were certainly not trying as my periods never returned following my first pregnancy and 2.5 years of breastfeeding, we just assumed “hey, no period, no ovulation, no problem… right?”

In March I started to become quite unwell again, another flare-up of Ulcerative Colitis had my consultants talking about chemotherapy treatment and further hospitalisation. I was sad, reluctant and anxious about starting the treatment and I was beginning to feel really sick… almost like morning sickness… but it couldn’t be. Could it?

One evening I almost threw up looking at my dinner, the next morning I had to tip my coffee down the sink because I was revolted by the smell. I jokingly said to my partner, I feel like I have “morning sickness”, we laughed about how impossible that might be and I carried on my day feeling nauseous and dizzy.

A few days later my Ulcerative Colitis had become so uncontrollable that I had to work from home. I decided that the morning sickness feeling was getting worse, so to ease my mind I would take a test. Within seconds of peeing artfully on that tiny strip, it came back POSITIVE. I was so happy, excited, surprised, shocked and slightly worried about how my illness would impact the pregnancy.

I was approximately 8 weeks pregnant when we found out our happy news. The first trimester was a real whirlwind blur, I definitely felt more unwell with baby no.2 than I did with Eden. I didn’t fancy any food, even the thought of eating or the smell of cooking made me nauseous. I actually lost weight and felt really worried – but the midwives reassured me that whatever I could manage was better than nothing. Crackers, toast, and Weetabix became my staples, my poor nipples were so sore and tender, I was dizzy and tired (all the time)… then suddenly 14 weeks of pregnancy appeared from nowhere and all of the symptoms stopped, I felt like a human again.

Sadly during week 15, my milk dried up and my toddler self weaned with ease and happiness. I had been hoping she would gently wean when she was ready, the timing just felt right. She now strokes my rounding tummy and says she will feed the baby when it “pops out”.

At our 12 week scan, the sonographer told us we had a wiggly little baby who simply didn’t want to keep still. Our estimated due date is the 2nd of November and as I am a high-risk pregnancy I will be monitored closely and need a consultant led birth. I am pleased I am being cared for but slightly disappointed that I might not be able to have a midwife-led birth as I had hoped to have a water birth in the maternity unit at NNUH. I am keeping a very positive mindset and have started to read Ina Mays book on childbirth and am researching hypnobirthing for a calm, positive, joyful birth experience… I shall keep you all updated on my journey so far. PS. I am 20 weeks now and we just had our gender scan… ITS A BOY!

Ulcerative Colitis in Pregnancy Norwich

Thanks, Cristi for your blog and congratulations on your pregnancy. For more information about my shoots or book a pregnancy shoot please contact me on info@jesswilkinsphotography.co.uk  or you can see more on all my packages HERE. I can also be found on Facebook and Instagram.

 

Jess X

antenatal
Bump photographer Norwich

Seven years, Seven tips & Seven offers. Its lucky number 7.

Seven years, Seven tips & Seven offers. Its lucky number 7.  2019

This month my Norwich based, baby and child photography business turns seven years old. I consider it my other child, my life passion and a source of great joy and pride.

To celebrate, I wanted to share how I got here; my seven tips for making what you love work and a very special lucky number 7 offer!

Something I am frequently asked; how did you start your business?

College was the catalyst for taking photography up as a hobby; where many an hour was spent working away in the darkroom (the smell!!! If you know, you know! I LOVED it!)

Fast forward a few years and whilst enjoying an adult education course in photography, I found out I was pregnant! As for so many, evening sickness took its toll so badly, I had to give up the classes, but if anything, it spurred me to follow my dreams another way. I had a bump shoot and the wonderful photographer, who made me feel so at ease, inspired me when the arrival of my own baby provided the perfect model. Cass, my photographer came back and mentored me… so I took the plunge that so many of us mamas do when we want to work around having a baby – I started my own business.

I have never stopped pursuing my dream and pushing myself. I never assumed I was at the zenith of my learning or knowledge and have over the years continued with 1-2-1 training with other new-born photographers. I have always learnt by absorbing and asking questions and it was no different from my own business. 20 months after the arrival of Lucas and the birth of my business, our little dreamboat - Lilah burst into our world. I won’t lie, keeping everything afloat with 2 under 2 was hard and without the support and love of my hubby, I wouldn’t have come out of the other side with everyone and the business intact!

Any business goes on a journey, working out what’s best, what’s popular, what makes you happy and some years into baby and child photography I made my own mark… I decided that what I loved best was the simple, neutral images. Showcasing the little ones for all that they are so I stripped it back, limited colour, limited props and it’s the same ethos I carry through into 2019 and beyond.

So, this blog is also a dedication; seven years of thanks and gratitude. To my husband, my children, my fur baby, my family and friends. The support from everyone is never ending and to this day it amazes me that I continue to make friends on this journey. Most of all thank you to my clients and their beautiful models that made this business possible. Not only are you my bread and butter but you have created a support system I could never have dreamed of through the light and the recent heartbreak of losing my dad. You have made it easier - so thank you all!!!

My 7 lessons so far

1. Start as you mean to go on. In hindsight, I think I started too soon. I was so eager (which isn’t a bad thing) I should have built up my portfolio and trained some more. Then marketed myself when I was more experienced and confident.  I started off too cheap and had to market myself to a new clientele. 

2. You do not need the most expensive equipment, most of my stuff is second-hand or not the top brand. You simply need to learn how to use it!

3. Trust your way. I ignored a lot of advice: I was told to use props, use lots of colour, to sell via in-person sales and so on, the more I followed my heart and did things my way, the more it worked. 

4. Ignore what your competitors do and say, I know people say to keep an eye on them but I’ve found the more I stay focused on my work the less I worry or stress. (Also, it’s fine to be angry if you get someone copying your style or ideas. I have ranted to close friends, but every area of business gets it and it is wasted energy. Unless someone directly steals your clients, in the words of Elsa, LET IT GO) 

5. This is a hugely saturated market and some people will not value your work/your prices, it is not personal, it is business. The lesson? - not everyone is the right client for you. 

6. People will assume all you do is take photos! Family and friends will not always understand the full process behind photography and the final presented images, that’s ok because again its best to let it go (or educate them, whatever works for you!)

7. It’s a wonderful job but a hugely competitive field and can often lonely on your own – I have found networking with other freelancers and parent businesses to be a really positive experience. Find like-minded people in different fields so you can support and lift one another up. I’m very lucky that there are a lot of these events and individuals in Norwich!

So, there you have it, how I got here and seven years of tips. So now for a seven-year offer for seven lucky mummies to be!

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Are you pregnant? If so then I am offering the first 7 mums a maternity shoot!

The package:

  • A 25-minute shoot with 7 images via an email link for £75
  • Email to book in, and be quick! Once the 7 slots have gone, they are gone! 

https://www.facebook.com/ClaireCarneyFloralAndBalloonDesigns/n by the awesome Claire Carny

breastfeeding Norfolk

Breastfeeding Myths Guest Blog by Sian - No Milk Like Mama’s

Breastfeeding Myths Guest Blog by Sian - No Milk Like Mama’s consultants on breastfeeding in Norfolk 2019

 

breastfeeding Myths Norfolk

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  1. Breastfeeding is painful

Whilst some discomfort can happen when you first start breastfeeding, truly painful is not ‘normal’ and is a sign that your baby does not have an optimal attachment to the breast. Too many times breastfeeding supporters see women who have struggled on through painful feeds, severe nipple trauma and dreading feeding their baby, with the misconception that it was normal to be painful and they just weren’t coping with this. This can lead to further issues that may take more support to unravel. Getting good quality support in place quickly if breastfeeding is painful can be key to breastfeeding success.

  • Breastfeeding mothers get less sleep

It is often thought that breastfeeding mothers get less sleep. However, research has shown us that overall breastfeeding mothers get more sleep. Hormones in breastmilk help our babies fall back to sleep quickly, and the hormones released whilst breastfeeding, help mums to do the same. A breastfeed in the night can usually be a quick and calm way to settle babies back to sleep with minimal disruption.

  • I’ll never be able to be away from my baby

In the newborn days it is true to say that breastfeeding can feel quite intense, but so can bottle feeding. Making feeds, heating water, washing bottles, sterilizing, none of this is easy. All mothers work extremely hard. Whilst breastfeeding may feel a little all-consuming in those early weeks, as your baby grows, your breastmilk changes. An increase in the casein: whey protein ratio in breastmilk enables babies to go a little longer between feeds, perhaps giving mum some time to relax and spend some time on herself.

  • Breastfeeding will make my breasts ‘saggy’

Nope, you can blame pregnancy hormones, age and a dose of gravity for that one!

  • I’ll have to stop when I go back to work

Many babies are already weaned onto solids by the time mum returns to work. Babies can eat meals, snacks and drink water when away from mum and return to the breast when they are reunited. If your baby does accept milk feeds when away from you, this can be given in a sippy or open cup, bottles are not always necessary. Health and Safety laws protect the needs of breastfeeding mothers to enable them to express at work and store their breastmilk.

  • I can’t breastfeed if I’m unwell

The opposite could not be truer. It is very important to continue to breastfeed when you are unwell. Your body makes antibodies against the specific virus you have, and these are then given to your baby via your breastmilk, giving them greater protection from this. Aren’t our bodies amazing?!

  • I can’t breastfeed if I am taking medication

Many medications are compatible with breastfeeding, and if a medication is not, alternatives can often be found. Please seek support to discuss this further if this concerns you.

  • It is easy

Whilst breastfeeding is natural, it is a learned skill of both mother and baby requiring time, patience and support. Good quality, compassionate and consistent support from family, friends, and professionals enables the breastfeeding relationship to be an enjoyable one.

 

Sian Aldis, International Board Certified Lactation Consultant
IBCLC. BA(Hons). FdSc.

Sian runs No Milk Like Mama’s and hosts a FREE Breastfeeding Support Café at Rowan House (Health & Wellbeing Centre) in Hethersett on the 1st and 3rd Friday of each month between 10am and 12noon. Everyone is welcome to attend this drop in service. For more details of the services offered, please see http://www.nomilklikemamas.co.uk/or find her on Facebook and Instagram.

 

 

Breastfeeding Myths Norfolk

 

 

To book a maternity shoot or newborn feel free to contact me for a chat!


family photographer near me

Family-friendly restaurants in and around Norwich

Family-friendly restaurants in and around Norwich  2018

Going out for lunch or dinner as a family can be a lot of fun. Whether you’ve stopped to refuel during an exciting day in the city or are treating your nearest and dearest to a slap-up meal, taking the kids out for food is a great way to spend quality time together as a family.

To help you find the perfect spot for your next gastro experience, we’re taking a look at the best family-friendly restaurants in Norwich and the surrounding area.

Giraffe

A lot of the time, chain restaurants offer the best choice – and most competitive prices – on kids’ menus. What’s more, they often have activities and games to keep little ones entertained while grown-ups enjoy their meal.

If you’re looking for a convenient and affordable place for a family lunch, Giraffe is a great place to start. The restaurant’s dedicated kids’ menu features everything from katsu chicken curry to fish fingers and beans, ensuring there’s something to keep even the fussiest eater happy.

Las Iguanas

Another reliable child-friendly chain is Las Iguanas. Located close to the waterfront in the Riverside Retail Park, the restaurant offers a great choice of vegetarian, vegan and gluten-free dishes. They also offer free organic baby food for younger children and staff are always happy to reheat baby bottles. 

Zaks

Back in the ’70s, local musician Harvey Platt decided to bring a slice of America to Norwich and opened the first Zaks in 1976. The restaurant has been dishing up US classics to happy customers for decades and now has a choice of locations across the city. Kids will love the burgers and fries on offer while parents will appreciate the colouring books and other games that are on hand to keep little ones busy.

Fatsos

If you’re taking your family for a day out in Great Yarmouth, Fatsos is the perfect place to stop for lunch. Located on King Street, the restaurant serves up burgers, fries, pizzas, wraps and other crowd-pleasing American classics. Wash your meal down with a freshly made milkshake before heading back to the beach.

Fatsos also has a location in Norwich if you want to stay a little closer to home.

The Swan

If you want to take the kids out into the countryside for a bit of fresh air, The Swan in Loddon is a great place to stop for lunch. Grown-ups can enjoy mouth-watering meals cooked by award-winning chefs, while kids will love the classic family favourites on the pub’s Cygnet Menu. Ingredients are sourced from local farmers and there’s often live music in the early evening. Once you’ve finished eating, head out for a walk in the local countryside to help your food go down.

With so many family-friendly restaurants in the local area, parents in Norwich are spoiled for choice when it comes to eating out. Find out more about family-friendly activities in and around Norwich by exploring our site today.

I know there are so many please comment with your top favourite!

Jess

Ps: check out baby friendly cafes too here


Language classes for babies and toddlers in Norwich

Language classes for babies and toddlers in Norwich 2018

As we all know, learning a new language as a child is a lot easier than learning a new language as an adult. Babies and toddlers don’t have to think about grammar, tenses or clauses. All they need is to become immersed in a new language and they’ll pick it up in no time.

Not only does learning a second language as a baby help to set kids up for a bright linguistic future, but it can also help with brain development and general communication skills. Thanks to growing demand, there is now a great choice of baby and toddler language classes in and around Norwich. If you think this might be the perfect activity for your budding translator, here are a few of the best local language classes to try out.

Lingo Lions

Lingo Lions teaches Spanish to kids from 0–12 years. Kids are divided into different age groups, with 0–3-year-olds all learning together. Lessons are fun and easy for kids to follow. Teachers have lots of experience working with younger children, so your baby or toddler is guaranteed to have a great time while learning new linguistic skills.

Lingo Lions, teacher Kate is very passionate and has sessions running across Norwich. Get in touch to find out if there’s a location near you.

La Jolie Ronde

Like Lingo Lions, La Jolie Ronde is suitable for children aged from 0–12. Both French and Spanish classes are available, giving you the opportunity to get your kids speaking multiple languages before they even start school.

Lessons are well-structured and are designed to reflect real-life situations. This gives kids an excellent grounding in their chosen language and helps to make the classes more relevant to everyday life.

As well as improving their communication skills, learning a new language has also been shown to give kids a confidence boost and aid all aspects of learning. Get in touch with the organisation to find out about lessons in your local area.

KidsLingo

French and Spanish are by far the most popular languages among parents who want to give their kids a head start. So it’s no surprise that the third organisation offering language classes for babies and toddlers in Norwich also specialises in these tongues.

KidsLingo offers a variety of baby and pre-school classes in and around Norwich. Most sessions take place in the afternoon or mid-morning, making it easy to fit lessons into your child’s day. The structure of the lessons will vary depending on the age of the children, with play a big part of language classes for babies and younger kids.

Language classes for babies and toddlers are a fantastic way to boost self-confidence, improve communication skills and give your child a head start in the world of linguistics.

 

Find out more by getting in touch with a group near you.

 

Jess - To book a maternity shoot or newborn feel free to contact me for a chat!


Fitness classes with babies in Norwich.

Fitness classes with babies in Norwich  2018

Although it may well be the last thing you feel like doing after the birth of your baby, getting back into fitness can help boost your energy levels and strengthen your body. What’s more, if you join a specially tailored mum and baby class, you’ll be able to meet other local women who have babies the same age as yours. This can be a great way to make new friends, widen your social circle and throw yourself into your new life as a mum.  

BabyFit

Debbie at BabyFit is VERY knowledgeable , and offers a fantastic choice of classes for pregnant women and new mums. Stay in shape and prepare for the birth of your little one with BabyFit pregnancy yoga and pregnancy aqua.

Once your baby has arrived, you can keep up your fitness regime by joining a BabyFit postnatal core recovery class. Babies are welcome to come to classes with you up until they’re crawling. If you want to get your little ones even more involved, join a BabyFit baby yoga group and get your child active from the day they’re born.

Buggy Buddies Workout - Norwich t

Designed to help mums get back into shape after a new arrival, Buggy Buddies also takes place outside in the fresh air. Anna who runs the Norwich sessions has been supporting mums for many years and really cares.

Sessions generally begin with a brisk warm up walk followed by a number of specially designed exercises. Your little one will stay in their buggy for the duration of the hour-long session while you burn fat and work to get back to your pre-baby fitness level.  

Push and Tone Fitness

Push and Tone classes take place in a local park, allowing you and your little one to get some fresh air and exercise at the same time.

Classes focus on fat burning, toning and strength and you’ll be taught to use a variety of exercise equipment too. Push and Tone classes are very social and you’re allowed to go at your own pace. Pay for classes as you go or book a block of sessions to save money and boost your willpower.

Mother Nurture

One I found when googling. Held at the Sprowston Diamond Centre, Mother Nurture classes focus on postnatal relaxation and recovery. They also place an emphasis on bonding with baby and give new mums various exercises and techniques to help them connect with their little ones.

Yoga is the main activity in these sessions and new mums are given a variety of stretches and exercises to try. These are designed to help your body recover and to stimulate your baby.

Please let me know of any more fitness classes that allow babies in Norwich you can recommend!

Jess - read more blogs here.


6 tips from a mum down the line for new mums, Norwich

6 tips from a mum down the line for new mums, Norwich 2018

 

  1. Trust Your New Mama Instincts.

It’s a cliché, you’ll hear it again and again but trust me. There really is nothing like your new superpowers… the maternal instincts. You know your baby better than anyone if you don’t feel someone is listening to it don’t be afraid to stand tough because at the end of the day its better to overreact than to have something missed. I have never regretted asking for a second opinion or refusing to leave a GP until I was listened to and so far I haven’t been proven wrong.

  • ‘I’m overwhelmed and I don’t know if I can do this.’

I don’t know a mum who hasn’t experienced this in some measure: either a wave of this that passed or who was brave enough to talk to someone because it was something more serious.

Please don’t suffer in silence. At the smallest end of the scale I would say breathe, speak to your mum, some friends, your partner, someone you can trust and share the feelings because with so much parenting, ‘it’s just a phase’ even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Be easy on yourself, you are a new mum not wonder woman.

At the other end of the scale, please don’t suffer in silence there is wonderful help out there for post-natal depression, for those anxious from a traumatic birth or for any other feelings that are weighing you down. Please go to your GP for support and advice.

This is not a sign of weakness it is something that happens, and you deserve to be supported through it.

  • Birth didn’t go as you expected

It rarely does – as a baby photographer based in Norwich.  I hear new birth stories on a weekly basis and I want to say to any new mums to be or freshly made mums – they rarely do.

Be kind to yourself about your experience… if you had a drug free, water birth order in but ended up dosed up on all the drugs and waiting for more… well, if that’s what got you through then amazing! … you made and pushed out a human being!

However, you delivered your baby… you were incredible and you achieved an amazing thing. C-section, natural, home, hospital, epidural, drugs, no drugs… all that matters is there are 2 healthy humans at the end of it. Mum and baby.

 

  • Friendships Can Change.

This was a hard lesson to learn. When your world shifts its centre to a tiny small human it can mean your priorities change and alongside that friends/family member attitudes towards you can also change. This is not a negative commentary, but simply an acknowledgment that life brings people in and out of it for various reasons and for many this is one big turning point in life that moves people in and out of your life.

Friends without children may not understand your new life (I know I didn’t maybe support friends who were new mothers before I became one myself) Girls nights may be rarer, relationships with partners may become strained (have you heard the one about who is more tired?!)

It all gets easier but don’t feel alone if friendships ebb and flow differently. All us mums have experienced it and if you are lucky, you’ll meet some new amazing friends through being a mum.

  • Be kind to yourself. 

The most important of my points. Be kind. To Yourself. There is so much advice out there for keeping a baby happy… and after all that’s your new role in life. But a happy baby needs to be supported by a happy mum.

Care for yourself as you do your baby…. Nourish yourself, rest, get fresh air and get support when it feels too much. Small things such as watching your favourite film while feeding your baby, having a bath, staying in your PJs all day and just ignoring the washing… it’s not easy but sometimes it is vital.

  • Get Some Fresh Air

It’s funny how I resented being forced to have fresh air as a child. However, since the moment my children were born something switched and I genuinely now believe that fresh air can cure anything. Feeling sad? Get fresh air I am lucky living in Norwich there are so many lovely walks. Got a cold? Get fresh air. Feeling stressed? Happy? On the cusp of cabin fever? Fresh air.

Daylight is good for us, walking and moving is good for you and if you want to start exercising a bit post-baby, it’s a lovely, gentle way to start. I always used to invite my new mum friends for walks so we could enjoy it together. I did blog my Norwich top 5 baby friendly cafes 2 of which are in based in a park - win-win walk and cake!

Jess - I am a newborn and family photographer in Norwich, also feel read to read more blogs here.

 


pregnancy and coronavirus

Norwich Mumbler my new pregnant guest blogger

Norwich Mumbler my new pregnant guest blogger 2018

I always knew I wanted two children.  I used to joke to my husband about wanting three just to see him squirm or get cross about what a logistical nightmare it would be etc, etc. but I knew 2 was our number.

YET…along came baby number two and whilst I was ‘soaking her in’ and ‘making the most of her’  because I knew she was our last one, I had this niggle in the back of my head that perhaps we weren’t done.  Lots of my friends have said they absolutely, unequivocally knew they were done, but I never felt it!

Fast-forward nearly two years later and we’d sorted out the logistical nightmares of potentially having three children when that little line showed on the pregnancy test!  I have to say though, even though it was what we wanted, I was not prepared for the sudden guilt tears that followed.

Guilt for our two girls, who would have the upheaval of a new sibling, guilt that they might think we weren’t happy with just them, guilt for people who can’t conceive, guilt for people who have lost, guilt, guilt, guilt. 

It took a little while to get my head around having another baby, our youngest has only just started sleeping through (she’s nearly 2!) and the thought of going back to the 2-hourly wakeups and seemingly constant sleep regressions was HARD but, after two children, I am well-versed in the fact that nothing lasts forever and everything is a ‘phase’.  The days are long but the years are short, right?

My last two pregnancies have been very sicky for the first 9 to 15-22 weeks, so when week 9 came with this pregnancy I was ready.  Apart from I wasn’t sick – hurrah!  I was nauseous from week 6 but nothing that some bitter lemon or a sour Haribo wouldn’t fix.  I was so pleased, if not a little smug.

Then BAM, it hit - I thought I’d escaped, but no.  Eugh!  (and I’m definitely voting for this one being another girl – ha!)

The first 16 weeks have been hard.  Doing school runs and running after a ‘strong-willed’ 2-year-old, whilst trying to keep on top of my Norwich Mumbler to-do list (not to mention housework, cooking etc.) hasn’t been the easiest, but there’s finally some light at the end of my ‘morning sickness’ tunnel, so bring on the rest of the second trimester.

Check out my other blogs and we will hear from Katrin again in the future. Please also check out her awesome website, a hub for all things family related! And if you fancy experiencing a newborn shoot with me feel free to contact me for more information. 


7 things you might have forgotten about having a newborn

7 things you might have forgotten about having a newborn  2018

 

7 things you might have forgotten about having a newborn: It’s so easy to forget each precious stage as they flash by before your eyes, but something I hear frequently from second-time mothers and fathers is how much they had forgotten by the time baby number 2 arrives. So, I thought I would compile a list of 5 things to remind all you expectant second-time mothers and also to prepare anyone in round one!

  1. Prepare to google ‘Can I die from sleep deprivation’ It hurts, it makes your body ache and its akin to torture. You exist in a weird mystical fog of forgetfulness and with no idea what the day is and even if it is day or night. You might forget the date your baby was born or maybe their name, who you invited round that afternoon and where you left your last cup of cold tea (cold tea is another point, read on!) It’s brutal, but it also jam packed with that wonderful thing oxytocin and it passes.

 

  1. The Love is like nothing you have ever known. The link between you and your baby is powerful, the dull ache you feel through your whole body when your baby cries, the desperate itch to whip them back to you if anyone hugs them for too long. The strange sensation for breastfeeding mummies of twingy boobs if your baby cries. Its magical stuff, my hubby didn’t experience this, but I did, anyone else out there too?

 

  1. It’s just a phase. How hard it is to remember that with a new-born. Endless nights of colic or maybe cluster feeding, illness, screaming or just no reason behaviour. It feels like the end will never be in sight. But with retrospect, it doesn’t last forever and it’s a rite of passage that all parents stare desperately at one another in the middle of the night and pep talk one another

 

  1. How to hold a new-born! This is a funny one, you’d think as parents of an older sibling that you have been there and done that, that’s its something you don’t forget, well I can assure you that while you will eventually get the hang of it those first holds put you under enormous pressure, which brings me to a sub-point of point 4! The enormity of being responsible for new life is just the same as first time around. To keep them alive and kicking – adhering to all the rules and regulations and advice as set out by everyone around you (authorities and family) It’s hard but remember you can do this!

 

  1. Cold tea. Your tea will not be hot when you drink it for a long time. There is no way around this.

 

  1. Never ever say out loud, or in your head that you are nailing something. As we all know, the minute your baby hears you they will immediately move the goalposts and you will have no idea what is going on. Be it sleep, feeding, routine, smiling, rolling you name it. They can smell parents celebrating success!

 

  1. In those hazy first days, it feels like no sleep, no hot tea, no routine and no idea will be your life forever, but, just remember, you will re-enter the normal world at some point. So, try to enjoy being home in a new-born bubble. Because as we all know ‘It’s just a phase’

sleeping baby

I hope some of these have reminded or helped you see how awesome having a newborn is! And just to add – you will love this baby as much as your first, you may even feel sad about it not just being you and your firstborn.  But that soon went when Lila arrived, the emotions we feel as parents are so mixed and varied. Every journey is different but I’m pretty sure whatever you feel, someone else is feeling/felt the same. The fact that we worry,  if we are doing a good job means we are!

 

If you are having your 3rd , 4th, 5th etc baby I’d love you hear from you about what else could we add to list of things you forget/ need to know/ about having a newborn?!

 

Jess

Newborn baby photographer Norwich
having a newborn
having a newborn

Sam James Life Coach Norfolk

A Happy Family Christmas the realistic way - guest blog

A Happy Family Christmas the realistic way – guest blog by Sam James  2018

 

 

Christmas time with babies and young children can be a magical time. It can also be a stressful time. Parenthood is an ongoing wrestle between ideal expectations versus reality, and Christmas can be a stark reminder of this. That’s why I am going to share my 3 top tips to help you to create a realistically happy Christmas for you and your family.

 

I remember our son’s first Christmas and I had put so much pressure on myself to have the ‘perfect’ Christmas, fuelled by my perception of what all my new mummy friends were preparing and what the world of adverts, films, and social media were telling me Christmas should be like.

 

The reality was nothing like it. The stress built like a pressure cooker, and it felt like everything that could go wrong did go wrong:

  • Our trip home from South Wales to Norfolk was delayed by several days due to heavy snowfall (I normally love snow, but not in 2010!)
  • My husband and I ended up with food poisoning
  • My grandmother’s water pipe burst in her garage
  • My parents washing machine broke
  • We argued with our families. I remember hiding in my room, messaging friends, wishing I was in my own home.
  • Our son was poorly on Christmas Day and I spent a considerable amount of my day on the phone to 111.
  • I lost my voice on Boxing day and woke up with conjunctivitis.

 

I vividly remember feeling so disappointed, upset and exhausted. At the time this was all I could focus on. That Christmas was a failure.

 

Yet, if I were to share photos of our son’s first Christmas it won’t show any of that. It will show him with his stocking, opening presents with his cousins, having his first Christmas lunch, families laughing and playing together.

 

In reality, 8 years on, I am able to recognise that despite all of the drama that surrounded Christmas 2010, there were many moments to treasure. With hindsight I wish I had taken the pressure off myself and my family to have a ‘perfect’ time, that I had lowered my expectations and embraced the time together warts and all.

 

It is so easy to get swept along with what we think everyone else is doing and feeling like we should be keeping up with everyone else. So, how can you try and make Christmas work for you without the stress?

Create a Realistic Happy Christmas.

  • Create your own family traditions

Don’t force yourself to do things that ‘everyone else’ always seems to be doing, if it doesn’t fit for you. Everyone’s situations are totally different – what works for your friend or your sibling’s family might lead to huge financial strain for you, or a really uncomfortable family situation.

 

  • Focus on time together.

What do you want Christmas to feel like for you and your family? People remember the feelings they are left with far longer than the things that they are left with. As humans we are wired to seek out connections with each other, and being with other people and sharing positive experiences far out ways material objects, in terms of long-term happiness. There is a post on social media, written by a teacher for parents as a reminder of just this – that when they go back to school when asked about Christmas, the children share stories of staying in their pj’s for the day, playing games, watching films, going for walks. If they mention presents it tends to be the last thing they talk about.

 

  • Soften your expectations.

It is going to sound pessimistic, but I now accept that there are going to be moments when I want to scream at everyone, that someone will end up ill, that there will be some very random present choices and some things won’t go to plan. By accepting these things in advance, I won’t feel like Christmas is ruined if it happens. So, be honest with yourself, and where can you lower the bar of expectation this Christmas?

 

 

If you’d love more tips for reducing the Christmas stress you can find my 8 top tips here https://samjamescoaching.co.uk/tinsel-tantrums/

 

Enjoy your Christmas in whatever way you choose. I can’t wait for snuggles on the sofa in pj’s with my tribe!

Save my top tips below to your phone!

 

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